THE FIRE THAT FORGOT

I was told it was beautiful

When I found mine,

Everything would make sense.

I was young,

So I didn’t know what it was,

Or what would be.

I grew,

clinging to the beautiful,

The happy memories you created.

I dove into the water again and again,

Hoping it would wash you away

But you stayed,

a birthmark that grows with me,

unchanged, but fighting dirty.

I was fine when he came.

I wanted things to stay like that.

He was your eviction.

But also your echoing nightmare.

He wasn’t supposed to happen,

But he helped me heal.

Many tried,

but my looks alone brought them to their knees.

The doctors said my mind

was locked somewhere with you.

I wanted out,

but I couldn’t

even when you let go.

They all wanted to be you,

but better.

But you are you.

They are them.

He didn’t impress me.

Not at first.

He drove me through madness,

showed me something new,

and led me out of my mind.

I heard you were looking for me

Somewhere in a city

where the sun never sets.

I wrote all the poems I could,

And I hurt and longed for you

for far too long.

I just wanted you to talk to me,

even if she was alive.

I was hurting.

Now,

I’m learning to live again

And you chose to open the wounds.

Heaven help me

If I can say no to you ever

How do I convince hell

to take me away from you?

I asked my demons

to drag you out

But I prayed to God

so much to be with you 

And He finally answered.

I’d trade my life

to be someone I can’t remember.

But the flames won’t stop.

They burn harder

when I try to forget you.

Some days,

I can go without you.

Some days,

I walk through fire with you in mind again

I’m trying not to be caught up

But I am.

So he did me up.

It hurts

because I love you.

And you forgot how to love.