NOT YOURS

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You Must Be Perfection

It’s you they’ve written off long ago,

Oh, they spoke of justice in the books, though

Yet they didn’t say you’re a man of no words.

I watched from afar, unaware

That sunrise quickens when you’re not there.

For I studied you with awe and adoration,

Trying not to mess up my clothes

So you wouldn’t yell.

I worked fast like the boys I played with,

Held back fun like others, not to upset you.

I wonder who I would have been as a child

Left in your care.

Who knows? Smiling might’ve been

A research topic for me.

Oh, I pity my social life.

My cheerful charisma crumbling.

At the sight of you, like Lego walls.

I kept trying to fix you in my mind,

Paying so little attention to my reality

That I forgot who I was,

What I was,

Who I am,

And who I am becoming

At the sight of you.

My head would love you to be my brain,

But my heart wouldn’t be perfect.

Band-aids won’t fix a girl.

Who loves her failures because they define her

Or her smile, born of regret

And later, contentment.

You can’t fix her.

You can try,

But birds don’t belong in a cage.

And so, I am not perfect.

Love me or leave me.

Bending my truth

Will only worsen your lies,

And grow our pain.

So, let’s grow now

And laugh tomorrow.

Because if you think I am obedient,

If you think I am respectful,

Sir,

I am not the girl for you.

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